What It Feels Like To Be In Anxiety & Depression?

A woman who's happiness crumbled after a sexual abuse.

PS: This is resumption of the story of fictional character Swecha. https://www.theintrovertbird.com/post/a-womans-heartfelt-narrative

Namaste.

This is Swecha again. I hope everyone is doing well in their lives.

Anxiety & Depression, Does anyone know what it feels like? Yes, I know. While anxiety and depression seem to exist on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum, more often than you might think, they co-exist in the same mind. Few years ago, when i was happy & peaceful, I didn't got to know what that means. When one incident shattered me through the core, I can't help but tearing myself.

When I hit with angst, all I can do is to stick around, crying my heart's out, being triggered by small things, overthinking the unhappening fake scenarios, stuck with constant fear & worry, facing scary nightmares, suffocating with panic attacks, feeling physically sick, and hiding myself from the people. I felt difficulty in expressing people that how i'm feeling. I can't be able to control my anxiety even though it's irrational and I can't even trust myself to make decisions.

People always say that you should talk to someone, but how do you put your words on something so hard to even understand yourself? How do you explain to someone that you want to live a life but also don't know you can?

Suddenly, everything felt so hard. From the life that I'm living, talking to the people I love, having my favourite meals, to losing interest in everything. I even thought of taking out my own life, but something restricted me from doing then.

Don't know exactly what hope stopped and changed me then. Perhaps, my family & friends, or the people who want to live their life despite their deadly diseases. Something changed me yaar!!

I opened the door of change, and let the sunshine in. Firstly, I accepted completely that I have anxiety disorder. I want to come out of that darkness and try to be happy & peaceful as I can. I tried to find some relieving techniques. The healing sounds like birds chirping and the rain pouring drove me to comfort and warmth that I'm missing. I kicked off my hobbies writing, reading books, painting, and playing games again. I even started doing yoga, dancing, and meditation for mindfulness and inner peace. Finally, I'm trying!!✌️

"Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change." - Dr Wayne Dyer

Ultimately, I uncovered some insights during this journey that can guide us towards coping strategies, so we always have options to consider when distressed or overwhelmed.

• Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.

• Do something you have control over.

• Aim to get a good night's sleep.

• Try to eat balanced diet (but don't forget to enjoy your favourite food).

• Try a walk around the block.

• Make time for rest and relaxation.

• Reach out to your loved ones or a professional therapist.

I hope this gets easy for us. I hope we find a way out of this. I hope we get that sense of control back. I hope you can find someone who understands what you're going through. For now, I'll hope for you that you find that hope again for yourself. Alright, 1..2..3..Fighting!!❤️‍🩹

This is Swecha, until we meet again. Happy Reading!!

Jai Hind.